Sunday, November 28, 2010
what can i say..
i have no rights on her..
she said she has no obligations to me..
she wasnt even mine to begin with..
im the only one who had this wish thinking..
why is it so hard for 2 who loved to be together..
maybe if there hadnt been so many obstractions..
times might have gone abit better for us..
maybe to her..
this had always been wrong..
she regert starting this with me..
it hurts..deep down inside..
not becoz of the things i done..
but becoz i never did..
and am still trying to make things work..
make things better..
i dont know if she feel the same..
the same as me..
that i still hope for a future with her..
that i want her with me the rest of this road..
i know she will tell me..
its not possible..
that things can only stay as it is..
but yet we were together before..
why cant it happen now..
before when i cry..
she will feel the pain..
but now when i cry..
she only feel annoy..
before when im unhappy..
she will try to explain and be there for me..
but now when im unhappy..
she cannot be bother anymore..
even as im writing..
tears roll down like it's raining outside..
no one will know..
no one will care..
i will continue with my smiling and laughing face that everyone sees now..
and maybe at least i will die smiling..
i still believe in her..
i believe that she still loves me..
i believe that our love hasnt been shaken..
i believe that she wouldnt lie to me..
i believe that she only loves me..
i believe that someday she will call me her girlfriend..
i really believe in all these..
no matter what she had said and done that might paths this belief in a different light..
i just believe..
im just so afraid..
one day she will tell me..
you are just decieving yourself..
in your own world..
i don't love you anymore..
i know i will be so broken down..
and felt so betrayed..
but i just cant imagine what i will turn into..
every road each of us takes..
is a lesson..
some learn from it and change thier thinking..
some just decided to follow thier heart still..
the only regert i have is that i should have told her that i love her years back..
i never wanted to turn back time and redo what i done..
but i really want to turn it back now..
10 years back..the night where i lay on her laps..
i should have summon my courage to tell her i love her..
the words held back at my thoart becoz i was too coward..
i lost it..so what now we are someway along best friend and girlfriend..
we aint even lovers?
i have lost..
lost to myself..
lost the sense to judge..
lost the sense to feel to do the right thing..
just becoming more emotional..
im just a sentimental old hag..
who wants her love so badly..
maybe it's true that the course of true love never did run smooth..
it all depends on the 2 person how strong they felt for each other..
and if they are strong enough not to let go of the love and faith for each other..
:: it's just me.. :: 11/28/2010 03:10:00 PM
