Thursday, August 26, 2004
i don't mind being your venting sandbag..
i don't mind that when you not in good mood give me black face..
but at least let me know the reason..
i don't like being scolded and given attitude for no reasons or rythem..
you say i never go work..
you say i will never fulfil my plans..
but do you understand even when im sick i do go work..
only when im really SERIOUSLY ill then i never go work..
you never ask why and you started your attitude..
it hurts..
i know we are just friends..
that's what you want us to be..
and i have to try very hard..
'coz my love for you is here..
and i have to hide it all up..
the same goes when you want to broke off..
i never wanted it..
but i have to agree..
i always have to agree..
you always made me change my mind..
change my decision..
please don't ever regert anything that will happen..
'coz i know you will be the cause..
i don't ever want that to happen..
since you made it all clear..
you just want to care about yourself..
then i understand and will do as you wish..
- looking forward now..being cruel to yourself might be a good thing..... -
:: it's just me.. :: 8/26/2004 05:02:00 PM
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
Everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry
At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
:: it's just me.. :: 8/22/2004 11:31:00 PM
Saturday, August 21, 2004
i hate myself..and im still in pain..
so what else can i say...
:: it's just me.. :: 8/21/2004 10:28:00 PM
Thursday, August 05, 2004
my heart is totally broken..
i had tried so hard,
done so much..
putting in all my effort, my love, my care and concern..
all for her..
now everything is just gone overnight..
why are feelings so weak..
how can anyone's feelings be gone just overnight..
i cried myself to sleep..
i drugged myself to sleep..
i feel the pain in my heart every minute every second..
i just want to stop the pain..
u said u wanted time..
u said we should stay away..
u want to stay alone to think over things..
but do u know im so scared that u will come back and just say..
"im sorry but we can never be together anymore.."
im so afraid that time would take u away from me..
i really would not be able to take that blow..
if that really happens..
my life will come to a full stop..
i really don't know what im fighting for now..
im so tired..
one day..just one day..
i might just go without even saying bye..
if that really happens..
i just want to say i really cherish all the friends i had..
esp. those that stood by me when i was so down..
when that really happens..
i might not have anymore chance to say "i love u" to her..
life gets harder when u feel that you are alone fighting..
keeping the love u and her had alive..
life gets weaker when you have tried very very hard..
but what you got is just her cold shoulder..
life will end when one day she has decided to leave u forever..
all your hopes will dashed like that..
and no one will ever care..
when one is living without hopes..
one shouldn't even live at all..
-tears kept blurring my vision..i tried holding them back..but the pain just took over me..soon it will just take away my life too.....-
:: it's just me.. :: 8/05/2004 09:35:00 PM
Monday, August 02, 2004
i want to sleep forever..
in my dreams..
where i can see us together..
see our future..
i wonder if you will be dreaming of me too..
guess no..
if there's no more feelings..
why would you even think about me..
should i just walk away slowly and quietly..
haiz..
-sadness is the only emotion i have now.....-
:: it's just me.. :: 8/02/2004 10:41:00 PM
:: dwelling in sadness..... ::
i kept a smiling face..
not to let anyone worry..
i tried very hard..
it was so difficult..
deep down inside..
i feel so sad..
so lost..
i do not know how should i treat you..
i can't be too nice..
i can't be too bad..
im slowly hating to see that pic of us..
the one we took in the mrt..
that was the times when we were so happy..
i can see our smiles so sincere..
i can feel the happiness in our eyes..
but now this pic only reminds me of the past..
reminds me of the hurt..
reminds me of my pain..
reminds me that you had leave me..
leave me alone here..
i'm in a room..
all closed up by 4 walls..
no doors no windows..
only a tiny opening to the ceiling..
the opening seems to be closing up slowly..
i can't breathe properly..
slowly..i felt that my head is spinning..
and darkness fall..
-i hate this pain..and it's not going away..-
:: it's just me.. :: 8/02/2004 01:15:00 AM
Sunday, August 01, 2004
:: living in pain... ::
what's the worst pain of all..
not my stomach pain..
nor my rib pain..
is the terrible pain that kept lingering in my heart..
the mark you left on it will never leave..
the pain is still hurting..
why did it felt like a fresh wound..
still so hurting..
they always say time heals..
time can cure the pain..
but no..
time didn't heal at all..
so are you really the one?
the right one for me?
am i the one for you?
life is just full of question marks..
it's up to each and everyone to get an answer..
face it or run away from it..
i hate to run away..
so face it and feel the pain..
from now onwards how should my life be?
what should i do?
what must i do?
what can i do?
haiz..
im lost..
i do not know the way home..
i thought you are my way home..
but now..
i really don't know..
you seems so near yet so far..
i really want you back..
so badly..
i don't even understand why..
you stolen my heart..
broken it..
now you took back yours..
and im living without any..
you don't seems to want me back as badly as i am..
that really set me down..
it seems like i'm the only one struggling to keep your feelings alive..
i'm drained..
totally let out..
i need a rest..
do you know your care and concern gave me strength to move on..
your love will keep me going no matter how tough it is..
but now..
i only have myself..
an empty shell without any heartbeats..
only a body full of pains..
mentally..physically..
even internally..
-i wish for the day when my heart will beat again..will that day ever come.....-
:: it's just me.. :: 8/01/2004 01:01:00 AM
