.:. ..the great pretender.. .:.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

:: hmmm.....::

well..i got no ideas if i actually still have feelings for this ex of mine..
i myself think i had let go already..
but my friend kinda remind me that i might still have feelings for her..
from the various point she given to me..
im always mentioning of all our moments together..
showing her pictures of us taken whenever we go..
kept mentioning her name..
actually i didn't really think much..
but maybe i still do?
'coz i kinda miss her at times i guess..
but i know she's happier without me around..
guess our thinkings are really worlds apart..
our lifestyle too..our mentality..
maybe it wasn't even love in the first place..
maybe she was just curious..
guess i need to take a break from this thing..
to be able to think properly with a clear mind..
i will not let myself be so dwell into these kinda things anymore..
i wouldn't allow myself to be taken for granted by her anymore..

- haiz..shi mian again..wonder how long is this going to last..argHhhHh..... -

:: it's just me.. :: 4/21/2005 09:40:00 AM

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

uRgHh~~!!! days had passed, resumes been sent! but...where are the responses~! haiz..looking for jobs really is that bad nowadays..i'm so sick and tired of sleeping late and waking up late..i need to have a more structured lifestyle! stress getting to me as well..damn it..
constant nagging from my house..as if it's so easy to get a job..i got no idea how they think..brainless a**holes..haiz..can i just jump into a black hole and disappear forever~!!! haiz..everyday sent resumes..like also no use..what to do..how how how!!! and the more i slack the more lazy i will get~! i cant let this happen!!! AHHHHHHHHH~!!!
i need to clear my mind and think properly..
-gone-

:: it's just me.. :: 4/19/2005 04:48:00 PM

Sunday, April 10, 2005

:: A Good Weekend ::

LOL!
this is good news~
she replied me..oh man..i thought i got to wait a long time..but seems like it's alright yeah?
i'm all smiles now..this is a good weekend even though im sick..
i pray and hope for better news..
had sent out like 10 resumes last night..hope there will be at least some responses next week..
jia you!!!
and the best part is the "god" my parents went to say that i will have more bad things coming my way!
whatever it is..if it's meant to be..it will be..
anyway i have to return that "god" a favour..don't worry i will go up don't need to scare me using that..i never like to owe people favours..AT ALL...

- i know my attitude stinks..but too bad..that's just me..live with it or scram.. -

:: it's just me.. :: 4/10/2005 04:38:00 PM

Saturday, April 09, 2005

i did a brave thing today..
muster my courage and send that out..
i pray that i wouldn't have to hide my face in the future!
lolx..
im going crazy~
=)

:: it's just me.. :: 4/09/2005 06:15:00 AM

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

:: Sleepless nights ::

i'm so tired..
yet i can't sleep..
tossing and turning in bed every night..
only fall alsleep when dawn breaks..
waking up when it's almost dark..
living a vampire life..
i feel like im wasting my time away..
sleeping all through it..

i can't let setbacks hold me back..
i can't slack again..
i need to pick myself up..
get back the determination i had just days ago..
undo the laziness in me..

i know i can do it..
i just need to organise my thoughts in my mind..
seems like there's so much but yet no idea what are they..
i know i'm slacking and stressing..
i have been eating and eating..
without proper exercises..
that's the sign of me sinking in..

i got plans..
i need to work through them..
i need to focus..
i need strength..
most importantly..i need myself back..

- to be able to focus and think with a clear mind..first clear your mind of all evil thoughts..organise your thoughts..self talk to enhance your determination..believe in youself.. -

:: it's just me.. :: 4/06/2005 04:14:00 AM