Saturday, April 22, 2006
wah..a week w/o updates..
so it means this is a BORING week..
which is quite true..
my timing of sleeping is worse than ever..
can sumone just save me!!!
and my computer is so dead that i cant even play a simple game..
like MAPLESTORY!!!
waHh pianGg!!!!
*scream*
hmm..at least i got sumthing off my chest today..
felt so much better too..
to believe or not is up to oneself..
the truth is out there..
what is felt will be said..
open your mind..
breathe freely..
open your heart..
feel like you never did..
maybe it's already here..
but you just never realised it..
:: it's just me.. :: 4/22/2006 05:25:00 AM
Friday, April 14, 2006
havent been blogging for awhile..
was quite lost to start as well..
nothing much this week..
had agape dinner with all the trainers..
went northbrooks for their enrichment programs..
got abused and bullied by xia nu and qiang qiang!!!
went jamming with my old band!
mason leaving soon so that's thier last session with him..
had training on the new board game..cashflow..
really take a long time to figure out how to play..
and today is good friday..
nothing to do also..
maybe nap abit..
maybe reply my letters..
maybe go out..
*yawnz*
:: it's just me.. :: 4/14/2006 02:31:00 PM
Saturday, April 08, 2006
was talking to qiang qiang (esther) just now..
told me she was recording a song..
and said that it was very low..
very difficult to sing..
JJ's Hui You Na Mo Yi Tian..
then out of fun..
i record it too!
'coz the key was just nice for me..
hehe..envious ba qiang qiang!
well..this song reminds of my late ah gong (my dad's dad)..
i remember i used to tear everytime i hear or sing this song..
i love my ah gong alot..
he was the strongest..firmest..kindest person!!!
he was a very strict father..
but a very kind hearted grandpa..
he love all his grandchildren..
he had the most ci xiang face..
with big flabby body that made him look like the laughing buddha..
everytime my grandma marinated the "salty crab"..
he would get my mum to bring back some for me to eat..
as he knows i love it..
when i was younger he brought me once to the playground..
i would run and run..making him chase after me..
and totally out of breath..
and that's the first and last time..
*laugh*
i was a little devil..
well maybe a bigger devil now..
lol!!!
i was very upset when i didn't get to see him the last time..
and i was the only one in my family that didn't managed to do that..
even till now i felt a sense of regert whenever i think of it..
i remember the days when he was lying in hospital..
i would go and visit him after my work..
even though i know he can't hear me..
but i will try to talk to him and tell him to recover so we can eat the "salty crab" again..
as i speak i will find my tears blurring my vision..
i would like to delicate this blog entry to my ah gong..
as this is the ching ming period..
and im unable to visit his tablet to pray to him..
阿公..
大家都很想念你
雖然你以不在了四年
但在我心里您不曾離開過
我一直在晢怪自己
為何沒趕到看你最后一面
在你還在世的時候
也沒多看看你
雖然我不曾說
但我希望你知道
你是世上最好的阿公
希望你在天堂能收到我的祈禱
:: it's just me.. :: 4/08/2006 02:52:00 AM
Thursday, April 06, 2006
recieved the letter yesterday..
bad news..
i got rejected..
felt totally lost..
was looking so forward to it..
pinning all my hopes on it..
my mind is blank..
went home and started drinking..
felt too empty..
too lost..
was so disappointed i could scream at anyone and anything..
suddenly i don't know what can i do..
or what should i do..
where am i supposed to continue from here...
i felt like a lonely soul in deserted island...
went to ktv today with Meiling to let out all my frustations..
sang for 4 hours straight..
feel really good after that..
Taylor came later and we went to a coffeeshop to chit chat..
gossip here and there..
talk about thier love problems..
mine?
a problem of not knowing what to do..
decided to give myself a break this week..
keep my mind blank..
shall sort things out next week..
give it a rest..i just need to break free!!!
sorry for ruining the dinner..
was really very upset..
thanks alot for being there for me..
really appreciated your thoughts and what you have done..
thanks for making me smile..
=)
:: it's just me.. :: 4/06/2006 03:59:00 AM
Monday, April 03, 2006
从来不相信我的世界可以有多完美
痛苦寂寞还有一些疲惫
不允许他人随意进入我的零度空间
宁愿孤独懒的再去想谁
俩个人一起是否只是得到一种安慰
挣脱过去然后忘记一切
没想过有天我的结局忽然全部改变
谁会抓住我的无力双臂
怎么会哭
(谁错谁对为谁抱歉)
不会再哭
(谁错谁对为谁憔悴)
走入零度空间等到一切分裂
就算爱的危险我们一起面对
来不及的防备没听过的誓言
要我怎么学会多了爱的明天
走出零度空间终于一切分裂
就算爱的很累我却不会后悔
放下所有防备一切都无所谓
逃出黑暗世界开始新的明天
新的明天
俩个人一起是否只是得到一种安慰
挣脱过去然后忘记一切
没想过有天我的结局忽然全部改变
谁会抓住我的无力双臂
怎么会哭
(谁错谁对为谁抱歉)
不会再哭
(谁错谁对为谁憔悴)
走入零度空间等到一切分裂
就算爱的危险我们一起面对
来不及的防备没听过的誓言
要我怎么学会多了爱的明天
走出零度空间终于一切分裂
就算爱的很累我却不会后悔
放下所有防备一切都无所谓
逃出黑暗世界开始新的明天
新的明天
走出零度空间终于一切分裂
就算爱的很累我却不会后悔
放下所有防备一切都无所谓
逃出黑暗世界开始新的明天
新的明天
新的世界
:: it's just me.. :: 4/03/2006 01:32:00 PM
read something from a friend's blog..
she wrote that everyone will have 3 loves..
the 1st one normally happens when you are younger..
and you didn't learn to treasure and cherish at that point of time..
the 2nd one will be the one that hurt you so deeply..
it might even scarred you for life..
and when finally the 3rd one appears..
it will be the right one..
well after i read this..
i felt happy yet sad at the same time..
happy 'coz i guess i been thru the 1st 2..
and if my 3rd one comes i should be happy right..
sad 'coz i know im just lying to myself..
hoping to make myself feel better..
maybe that will happen maybe it wouldn't..
who knows...
maybe inside me im just rejecting whoever that comes my way..
because im afraid..
too fearful of going thru the same thing..
so no matter how nice anyone can be to me..
i will just keep away..
yet i rather do things that are impossible..
always so weird..
that's me..
so me..
just me...
:: it's just me.. :: 4/03/2006 01:14:00 PM
